Psalm 1

Psalm 1 is pretty straightforward. Blessed is the man who does not walk/stand/sit with the wicked/sinners/mockers. He delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night. It is in his heart. It is surrounding him. He is planted by the stream. It is not an accident that he is there. He wants to be there, digesting what the word of the Lord says.

It's my prayer that I will be planted by the stream of God's word and that I will meditate on his word day and night and that I will delight in the word. Delight. Not just read because I "have" to read it. Delight in reading and learning more about my Savior and wanting to grow in him and know him more.

APPLICATION: Meditate on God's word.

Fear

So, I'm wondering if God is trying to tell me something about fear. I recently subscribed to the Proverbs 31 Ministries daily devotions. Yesterday, the devotion dealt with fear and how Satan uses fear against us. Today, Focus on the Family was talking to Max Lucado about fear. Some fear is healthy, such as the fear of falling off a cliff...that fear will keep you away from the edge of the cliff so you don't fall (or will convince you to follow the rules/stay within the boundaries) so you don't fall. Unhealthy fear drives you to constantly worry about things around you. It also may keep you from accomplishing what God has prepared for you to do. It isn't a natural thing to want to give complete and utter control of your life to someone else, even to God. Fear of what God may ask you to do or where He may ask you to go if you give up yourself to him simply keeps you from accomplishing what He has planned for you.

The place I see fear coming into my life most prominently at the moment is in worship, with other believers. There are times when I am so overwhelmed by how much God loves me that I just want to raise my hands in worship to Him. It is a lie from Satan that tells me that everyone is going to be looking at me and wondering what I think I'm doing that puts just a little fear in me and keeps me from worshiping God with the abandon that I feel inside.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)

My Journey

I've been convicted about writing this out for, oh, a couple months now and I've been putting God off. With all that is going on in the world right now, I can't put Him off any longer. It may not be much, but it's my story of how I came to Jesus and what He has done and is doing in my life.

I've been in church all my life. Literally, even before I was born. My babysitter before I went to school is a pastor's wife. My parents sent me to a Christian school until it closed after my 2nd grade year. That year (I was 7), I distinctly remember a Bible workbook that we did. I also remember that year that my 2 closest friends became Christians, or at least let everyone know at that time that they knew Jesus. My 2nd grade teacher went through the plan of salvation and I said a prayer and raised my hand that I had asked Jesus into my heart. Now, I don't know for sure that at that time I really made a decision for the Lord. I may have done it just because my 2 friends had. In 7th grade, I made a similar "decision." Again, not sure if it was a real one at that time. When I was 15, between my sophomore and junior years of high school, I went to a youth revival at a local church where we watched a video on hell. Don't remember a thing about the night, except for watching the video and praying that night and asking God to show me the condition of my heart. He did. I felt a literal burning in my chest. I truly believe that night changed my life. The first thing I could see that was different was that I quit wearing my Christian t-shirts that I had worn with abandon before. I also quit writing "I love Jesus" on my book covers. Things changed again when I went to college. I started growing spiritually. I read my Bible and prayed more. I got married shortly after college graduation and my spiritual life slacked off again. Yes, we attended church, but just that really isn't enough to keep a relationship with Jesus strong. Since then, it's been an on again/off again relationship. Jesus is always there, but I don't always do *my* part to keep the relationship strong. I'm human and the flesh gets in the way. When I read my Bible and pray, life isn't necessarily easier. Sometimes it's harder because I am doing what I'm supposed to and Satan doesn't like that. There is more inner peace when I am doing my part.

I also want to share some ways that I've seen evidence of God in my life. I went to a small Baptist college where weekly chapel services were required. One particular chapel service during my sophomore year was about the mission trips that were offered in the next year and a half. They typically made trips to Israel, Ireland, and Nicaragua. The one that caught my attention that day was the announcement that a group would be going to Argentina the following year. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that day that I would be going on that trip. Knew it. When I found out that we would be there for mission meeting, I was excited because I would get to see my uncle, who at that time was a missionary to Chile. Turns out, he wasn't there that year. God provided most of the funds for the trip through other people, so not much came out of my pocket. The team's purpose in Argentina was to teach the missionary kids Vacation Bible School while their parents were in meetings. I'm not a teacher. At all. However, I was put with the preschoolers and most of what I had to do was just play with them. My favorite part of my mission trip story is that I met my husband while there. His parents were missionaries to Argentina. He was there on Christmas break to visit his family. (The only trip he made back after coming to the States for college). We spent all of 8 days together. Three months later, with him in SC and me in AL, we were talking marriage. A year and a half later and only 6 weeks spent in each others' presence over the course of that year and a half, we got married and this July we will celebrate 12 years.

Another event that stands out in my mind is the end of my time working at a daycare. The situation was dire, at best. We weren't being paid like we were supposed to and it was just not a fun place to be anymore. God provided me with a group of people to pray about the situation. He also provided a job doing something I love, medical transcription...from home. While I was contemplating and praying about what to do before I got the job, He gave me a line from one of Casting Crown's songs. I had not heard the song ALL day and here this line popped into my head. The same day, a friend said that sometimes you just have to step out in faith. Okay. I did it. I did not have a clue if I would even make enough money to cover what Clayton's paycheck didn't. (I do). I started working from home in October 2009. That same year, almost 2 months later, Clayton was in a motorcycle accident that left him with a ripped open knee and a broken leg. He was in the hospital for 5 days after the accident. I was able to take the entire week off work with NO questions asked. No pressure to start working again. I was able to be home with my husband and take care of him until he was able to get around better and do for himself. Another way that God showed off before the accident was that I had rearranged our bedroom just weeks prior. Before I moved the furniture, there is no way he would have been able to get to his side of the bed with the walker. After, he was right next to the bathroom door. God provided enough insurance money from this accident that we are currently debt free save the house.

I could go on and on about the little ways I see Him working. I have more of a desire to be in the Bible, and even if I'm not, the desire is still there. Choir rehearsal is not just rehearsal; it's worship. Messages at church are not just ramblings; they have meaning and are applicable to my life (whether I want to admit to some of them or not). I can see my life becoming more focused on the things of God and not the things of me.

Psalm 95

So, I've had worship on my mind for the last couple of days. The song "Heart of Worship" is playing through my mind right now.

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

It's NOT about just singing a song. It's about the attitude of my heart WHEN I sing a song to him and about the attitude of my heart when the song is no longer there. Or when I'm out and about during my day.

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. (v.1-2)

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker, for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. (v.6-7)

Ephesians 2:14-18

March 9, 2010

Jesus is our peace. He came so that Jews and Gentiles would be one in Him. We are united through Christ.

Application: Jesus is my peace. I cannot create peace on my own.

Ephesians 2:1-10

March 6, 2010

Do not judge sinners for you once were a sinner. Understand that they are dead in their sin. It is only because of God's great love for us that we are alive. Because Christ died for us, we are able to be alive and do good works.

Ephesians 1:15-22

February 28, 2010

Pray. Thank God for the Christians He has put in your life. Pray that God would give them the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so they may know Him better. Pray that they may know the hope of God -> the promises of God.

Application: Pray for the Christians around me.